The Freshness: March 2011

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Saturday, March 26, 2011

UConn beats Arizona to make the Make Final 4

Obby Twitter Post of the Day!

A toss-up between:

"You okay? Uhh yeah. Do you know you got a big ass bow on your head and shawty it don't look good."

"Just whipped up a batch of my famous cinnamon raisin french toast."

You decide.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Scranton Woman Hides Drugs and Money Inside Herself

After crashing her car Sunday, police said a Scranton woman suspected of burglarizing the Dunmore Inn was found to have a sizeable stash of drugs and money hidden in an unlikely location. After a struggle with Officer Baumann during a more thorough search at headquarters, Ms. Mackaliunas asked to speak with Sergeant Michael Mayer and told him she had hidden more heroin in her vagina.

A search of Ms. Mackaliunas by a doctor at Community Medical Center turned up 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22.

Meet Jesse Heiman: He Has Been In 56 Movies/TV Shows, But You Didn’t Know

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

My Weekend

Boyd got a dude's number at a bar friday night. The guy we bumped into said he was a dating coach, to which we said like Hitch and he gave Malcolm his card and on it said "Professional Wingman".

Gody gave a wonderful speech which I'm sure will find it's way to The Freshness soon via a friends cellphone. Along with that video there is one of him dancing at the house while pregaming that may find its way up here.

"I saw two girls whispering and talking about me. I think they were making fun of me."- Gody

"You ready to go HAM"- Gody

Buddy's cousins girlfriends parents came to pick her up and Boyd got some people to start chanting her name.

Five of us had a little bet that didn't go as well as we would've liked it to but I can't say what it was.

I had a headace and wasn't drinking so I drove the truck for the night. Being sober and watching my friends is hilarious.

17 of us went to the bar. HT stayed in and watched TV.

YES, we honestly rolled 17 deep, it's whatever. Although, when you do roll 17 deep your bound to have some altercations at a bar. I'll get to those.

Downstairs Libby's, we push our way to the stage, just like we always do, and start killing them with the dougie, jerking, cat daddy, what have you. I look at Buddy and he's still wearing his coat. Buddy's coat goes down to his ankles. Libby's basement is the 3rd hottest basement in America. Buddy also has a hat on which was soaked in sweat. By the time we got done he was sweating like Patrick Ewing in the 4th quarter. Anyway, while we're down there we request Cat Daddy, obviously, and the DJ says he already played it but he'll play it again for us, sad to say we left before he did.

Also, downstairs when we were dancing somehow Buddy and Boyd go into in with some kid and were on the verge of throwing fists until we gave Chip the call to the bullpen. Nev walks up, gets right in the kids face, and Boyd pushes him away and says "deuces".

Keane looking at the group of girls behind us: "Now I know where the wild things are." and at the same group of girls: "wanna play hungry hungry hippos?"

Murph for some reason didn't know there was a downstairs therefore did not know where we all were. What does he do? Leave the bar. So by the time we find out they won't let him back in it's the end of the night and we about to leave. As we are trying to get everyone together with about 30mins left until the bar closes, Buddy stands at the exit and daps up every person that leaves Libbys. His goto line for the ladies was "girl, don't change." I see the kid we were gonna fight downstairs in the line to leave, (yes there is a line only because everyone has to stop for Buddy). I am thinking to myself, "this could get bad", BUT buddy gives the kid a hug! A fucking hug! I come over and remind Buddy we were gonna fight him and call them fags. After talking to everyone else trying to leave, the majority of us finally make it out onto the sidewalk. Everyone is now outside waiting for cabs besides Buddy. He takes about ten more minutes. Now everyone that was taking the two cabs is gone and I have my five I'm driving in the truck. Em and I start walking while the others start trying to fight a kid simply because he had a gay (yellow) shirt on. Even trying to tell the police how gay he was before getting asked to leave.

Driving back to Buddy's aunts house he gives me the wrong directions, has me get on a highway, get off the next exit and pull over so he can get out and dance next to the car. The usual five minute car ride turned into 25 minutes and I wasn't happy about it.

Buddy's cousin is up when we get home and Gody is showing him some pictures on his phone. Also, Gody is asking the young'n who his favorite porn star is. He had to go to bed when his mother, from upstairs hears Gody ask, "wanna watch porn?". So Sasha came down to tell him his mom wanted him and bed and Buddy to go up and talk to her. Buddy said he would not go up and he was going to yell at her in spanish.

Spots to sleep were running low and Chip thought he had a couch. Boyd said he called the couch first and got Buddy's cousin to solve the problem because he had heard him call it. Chip said I was here first and Buddy's cousin said "yeah but you threw up on my basketball hoop". He got up and walked out of the room.

I try to sneak downstairs so I can go to bed. Unfortunately, I am followed by the rest of the crew and they start playing arcade basketball on the two hoops down there and lifting weights. Gody decides to open the bulkhead door, but not walk up the staris and go outside, and just stand there and piss. Buddy then crept behind Gody and kicked him over so he would pee on himself. Next, Gody wanted to throw up some weight shirtless, but he couldn't get one rep before laughing himself off the bench. Someone else thought it's be a good idea to put all the weight they had on the bar and try to bench that. This resulted in a rep or two and all the weight falling off one side and going into the wall. We are sorry.

When Buddy, Chip, Gody and I woke up everyone had already left. The family all came back for breakfast and were saying how good of a kid HT was after talking to him and seeing him stay in, don't worry man we told them about the real you.

There is sooooo much more but it's already thursday if that shows how lazy I was doing this. Also I can never seem to remember it all, oh well.