Great Success

From what I hear and can remember Jared's party was pretty epic. Just wanted to jot down some notes for some people to read if they did not attend, did not know, or simply cannot remember:

- There were probably about 6 Guinness beers 1 Jack Daniel's wine cooler and 1 Chocolate flavored beer that were very old and just so happened to find their way to one of the drink buckets. When cleaning it the morning, there were only 2 Guinnesses left. 

- Yes, there was a 14 year-old there and yes, he did like to party. Hopefully he won't expect every party he goes attends to be like that because we all know nothing will top Jaredpalooza.

- Jared received a call the next morning that someone's car was hit and has some white paint on it. The owner was calling to ask if he had heard anything or if anyone has come forward to say they hit a car (like that would happen). What someone really needs to tell this kids dad is: 1.) Your child was not invited to this party so that is one way it could've been avoided. 2.) What was your son doing drinking and driving? Maybe he hit a car. 3.) Sounds like a personal problem.

- Dylan did two dizzy bats back to back then matched his career high drinking six whole beers.

- A set of keys were found hanging in a tree the next morning and were returned to the owner. How the hell did they get in a tree? Buddy?

- When I went back in the morning to get my car one of my good friends, who won't be named, pulled me to the side to let me know he may have been involved in some aggressive touching of a certain female that night.

- The one and only Buddy W. himself gave Mrs. Wilson a fairly decent lapdance ending with a kiss, then asked Mr. Wilson if he would like to fight him.

- Kyle and Malcolm were wrestling each other, not a real fight just something friendly, and Mr. Wilson sprinted over to them not knowing it wasn't a real fight, and threw Malcolm off Kyle. Malcolm does have some battle scars, but know one knows if they're from Kyle or Bill.

- Joe was there for a short period of time. He took a punch to the arm and was on his way to a much gayer party.

- Jared threw up at 8:30 that night, then in the morning he showed me and some others where he threw up and it was straight pasta..... Damn that pasta was good. This guy knows what I'm talking about, this guy definitely knows what I'm talking about. 

- When cleaning in the morning there was a small child found in the woods. If anybody knows who he is or where he lives please contact the Wilson's. Just kidding, that didn't happen. But seriously let us know. 

Overall it was a great night, although there will never be another party at Jared's house. Thank you all for coming and celebrating on some random day that wasn't Jared's real birthday.